Future Professions for Shonkey... Possibilities?

When Claire is being particularly difficult, I often try to remind myself that someday she'll probably be really successful--or in a lot of trouble.  This is probably my first child, Bob, is possibly the most passive, nicest and most personable 11 year-old boys around.  It's also because I spend my work days dealing with the MOST difficult students in the sophomore class at the high school where I work.  Through the lens of this experience, I view Claire; I see great potential, and yet I fear what might happen if she goes off the rails as a fifteen year-old. 

Bedtime Negotiations

Just like most typical three year-olds, we go through an evening dinner, bathtime and bedtime routine.  It culminates in the brushing of teeth and the reading of stories, preferrably, but not always, by about 8 pm.  Dan and I start the reading by saying, "Two stories tonight."  Then we ask Claire, "How many stories tonight?"  Claire responds, "Five stories."  We say, "No, two stories."  Claire responds, "Five stories."  This exchange usually goes back and forth for a minute or two.  Claire knows nothing of negotiation.  Perhaps if she'd come back with "Three stories?"  We might acquiesce and read three stories.  But this kid will not budge.  There is no compromise.  Claire is no Obama.

At these times, I try to consider potential future careers for Claire.  She can be absolutely ruthless.  I'm not sure where she gets it.  Her great grandmother was the CEO of Sunny Jim Peanutbutter.  I've been told that she displays many personality traits of Celeste Firnstal Rogge.  Perhaps that's a sign.  Maybe she'll engineer hostile corporate takeovers.  Where I would be worrying about my employees or the lives that I might affect, Claire could go for the kill.  I often joke with my collegiate rowing friends that Claire gets her personality from Sabina Telenska.  Although Sabina and I aren't blood relatives, we've defintiely spent a lot of time together--long before the birth of Claire.  Sabina is an extremely successful, self-made woman.  She never hesitates to tell you what she really thinks; Claire is just like this too.  Perhaps a litigation attorney?  Claire doesn't hesitate and won't back down. 

Claire the Competitor

My son, Bob, is eight years older than Claire and a completely different personality.  They share the same mother and the same coloring, but beyond that--not much.  From the time Bob could toddle, I have been encouraging him to run, to race and compete.  Bob has gone along with it for the most part.  He became a competitive swimmer, snow skis like a champ, and is always up for a good bike ride.  However, Bob can only take it to a certain point.  He's got good natural ability, but doesn't possess the "fire" of competition.  In essence--he's normal and well-adjusted... not like me.  I often joke with friends that I'm "disordered." In the midst of competition, I have wanted to rip peoples' heads off and shatter their dreams.  Bob is kind, loving and gentle. 

Claire, on the other hand, appears to have the fire... and I'm starting to regret my desire for it.  When I pick Claire up from preschool, it's mandatory that she beat me to the car.  If Bob is present, he cannot walk ahead of her; she has to be in the lead or she pulls out every weapon in her three-year-old arsenal to stop the entire production.  In these frustrating moments, I try to imagine Claire in a head-to-head race of some sort.  I stretch my imagination to visualize her in a situation where we'll value and praise her willfulness and unrelenting drive to win. 

One of the biggest mistakes that parents often make, especially parents of girls, is to try to make them meek, quiet, and submissive.  We ask them not to be outspoken, to shy away from strength and opinion, and to always hold back just a little.  What happens when a baby girl is born that just can't ever be those things?  Most of my closest female friends fit into this category.  They are superwomen.  I often see this in my female students in my at-risk class; I want them to understand that their strength and will is a gift to be developed, not a fire to be extinguished. 

On that note, a cup of hot chocolate has been requested.